Witch Doctor, or Kish Finally Goes Crazy
by Soccer-Geek
Summary: Kish, as usual, is trying to win Ichigo's heart. However, this time, his plan is rather, well, um, crazy. A humorous songfic/one-shot that uses the song 'Witch Doctor' by The Cartoons. Sure to leave you laughing with the song stuck in your head!


**Alright, so I happened to stumble across this song the other day, and thought it was hilarious. But then I thought, 'Oh my gosh, this sounds like somethig Kish would sing to Ichigo'. Well, the more times I listened to the song, the more times I saw Ichigo, the other Mews and Pie and Tart's reactions to Kish singing this song. If you want too, listen to the song while you read. It makes it all that more fun. :) But I will warn you, it will be stuck in your head for a very, very long time.**

**I own nothing! I don't own Tokyo Mew Mew, I don't own the song Witch Doctor, and I don't own The Cartoons!**

The waitress of Café Mew Mew were beginning to close down the store for the night. Suddenly, they turned when the door burst open.

"Pie!" Ichigo, Lettuce, Zakuro and Mint said in the same time, grabbing their pendants.

"Taru-Taru!" Pudding screamed happily, jumping on the young alien boy, who promptly shoved her off.

"Get off!" Tart said roughly, looking grumpy and indignant.

"What are you two doing here?" Keiichiro demanded, having come out with Ryou, both glaring at the two aliens.

"To be honest, we do not know," Pie said in his monotone. "Kish told us to meet him here."

"Said something about how he was finally going to win over the old hag," Tart added, still trying to dislodge Pudding.

"And that he wanted us to watch and be amazed with his 'awesomeness' as Mew Ichigo professed her love for him," Pie added solemnly.

"It's not going to happen!" Ichigo said angrily, folding her arms. "I will not now nor ever love that baka!"

"On the contraire, Koneko-Chan," Kish said, having just teleported in holding a microphone and karaoke speaker. He smirked as Ichigo turned to him with wide eyes. "I fully believe tonight will be the night you realize I'm much better than your tree-hugger."

"Um, Kishu-San?" Lettuce said nervously, looking at the equipment in his hand. "What exactly are those for?"

"You'll see, fish girl," Kish said with a teasing grin, setting the karaoke speaker on a table.

Pie and Tart exchanged a look and both promptly grabbed chairs to sit in.

"This should be interesting," Pie said dully as he leaned back, watching his adopted brother punch buttons on the device with a maniacal gleam in his eye.

"You two don't seem too concerned about this," Mint commented.

"It'll either be a good laugh, or give us nightmares," Tart said, sitting Indian style.

"Either way, we are unable to leave," Pie said, propping his boots up on a nearby table.

Ryou went over and pulled on the Café doors, which had suddenly stuck so that they couldn't escape.

"He sure is serious about this," Zakuro said with a scowl, folding her arms.

"Here we go!" Kish said, grinning widely as he looked at his 'audience', then turned his gaze primarily to Ichigo. "Kitten, prepare to fall under my spell!"

Kish pressed a button. Out of the speakers came a voice that said,

"_Hey, Witch Doctor! Give us the magic words!_"

And then another low voice answered,

"_Alright. You go: Ooh, eeh, ooh ah aah ting tang, walla walla bing bang_."

"_Alright!_" Kish cheered just as the music started, and then began to sing, "_Ooh, eeh, ooh ah aah, ting tang walla walla bing bang_!_ Ooh, eeh, ooh ah aah, ting tang walla walla bing bang_!_ Ooh, eeh, ooh ah aah, ting tang walla walla bing bang_!_ Ooh, eeh, ooh ah aah, ting tang walla walla bing bang_!_ Ooh, eeh, ooh ah aah, ting tang walla walla bing bang_!_ Ooh, eeh, ooh ah aah, ting tang walla walla bing bang_!"

The Mews, Ryou and Keiichiro stared in fascinated horror while Tart slid down in his seat, his ears and face red. Pie just held his head in his hands, praying that this would end soon. But no. It just continued.

"_I told the Witch Doctor that I was in love with you, I told the Witch Doctor that I was in love with you! And the Witch Doctor, he told me what to do! He said,_

"_Ooh, eeh, ooh ah aah, ting tang walla walla bing bang_!_ Ooh, eeh, ooh ah aah, ting tang walla walla bing bang_!_ Ooh, eeh, ooh ah aah, ting tang walla walla bing bang_!_ Ooh, eeh, ooh ah aah, ting tang walla walla bing bang_! _Ooh, eeh, ooh ah aah, ting tang walla walla bing bang_!_ Ooh, eeh, ooh ah aah, ting tang walla walla bing bang_!

"Alright, Blue Knight, you can come anytime now!" Ichigo yelled over Kish's voice, now singing the next verse.

"_I told the Witch Doctor you didn't love me true. I told the Witch Doctor you didn't love me nice. And then the Witch Doctor gave me this advice. Ooh, eeh, ooh ah aah, ting tang walla walla bing bang_!_ Ooh, eeh, ooh ah aah, ting tang walla walla bing bang_!"

"I've lost any respect I may have had for him," Zakuro said, shaking her head as she watched Kish dance around as he played air guitar.

"Remind me to terminate Kish's internet access," Pie hissed to Tart, who was now hiding under a table with his ears covered.

Kish came over and cupped Ichigo's chin as he went on to the next verse. Ichigo stared at Kish with horror, though he didn't seem to notice.

"_You can keep your love for me just like you were a miser, and I'll admit it wasn't very smart." _Here, to her fury, Kish tapped Ichigo's nose_. "So I went out to find myself a guy that's so much wiser and he taught me how to win your heart!"_

Ichigo turned red as Kish suddenly and quickly kissed her cheek.

"_Ooh eeh ooh ah aah. Ooh eeh ooh ah aah. Ooh eeh ooh ah aah ting tang walla walla bing bang._

"_Come on and Ooh, eeh, ooh ah aah, ting tang walla walla bing bang_!_ Ooh, eeh, ooh ah aah, ting tang walla walla bing bang_!_ Ooh, eeh, ooh ah aah, ting tang walla walla bing bang_!_ Ooh, eeh, ooh ah aah, ting tang walla walla bing bang_! _Ooh, eeh, ooh ah aah, ting tang walla walla bing bang_!_ Ooh, eeh, ooh ah aah, ting tang walla walla bing bang_!"

Kish spun a protesting Ichigo around in circles as the speakers finished playing out the rest of the music. Letting go of Ichigo, who tottered dizzily into Zakuro and Keiichiro, he bowed, still grinning. To his surprise, all anyone could do was stare. Somewhere in the distance, crickets chirped.

"Geez, tough crowd," Kish murmured.

Pie brought his feet back to the ground with a _thump_, then stood up and sighed. He teleported to stand behind Kish and pinched a spot on the back of his neck, sending the alien teen to the ground, unconscious.

"Taruto and I apologize for him," Pie said, crossing the room to fish Tart out from underneath the table.

"You have to say that a lot, don't you?" Lettuce asked softly as Pie dropped Tart out of his hand, leaving the boy to float in the air.

Pie took a deep breath and looked over his shoulder at Kish, then turned back to Lettuce. He nodded.

"Yeah," He said sadly. He sighed again and went over and picked Kish up by the waistband of his pants.

"Pie?" Tart said softly, tugging on the loose fabric of his brother's armband. "Am I going to fall in love one day and be crazy like Kish?"

"I sure hope not," Pie said emotionlessly. "I believe the universe can only handle one insane, love-sick adolescent Cyniclon at a time."

Pudding suddenly flung herself at Tart again.

"Don't worry, Taru-Taru, you won't have to go as crazy as Kishu-Kun over Pudding, na no da." Pudding said with a grin as she gave Tart a kiss on the cheek.

Tart turned scarlet and, after shoving Pudding off a final time, teleported away.

Pie shook his head and turned back to the workers of Café Mew Mew.

"Again, I do apologize for any mental, emotional and or physical scarring you have experienced this evening," Pie said, before he followed his younger brother, still holding an unconscious Kish by his trousers.

The staff of Café Mew Mew stood in silence for a long time.

Then, Ryou turned to Ichigo.

"You put up with him all day?" He asked, jerking his thumb at where Pie and Kish had disappeared.

Ichigo nodded grimly.

Ryou looked over his shoulder at the spot, then at the karaoke machine and microphone, then back at Ichigo.

"Yeah," He said as he walked towards the basement. "You're getting a raise."

"Thank you!" Ichigo shouted. Ryou just waved his hand.

And with that, the Mews went back to work and Keiichiro back to the kitchen, all trying to get '_Ooh, eeh, ooh ah aah, ting tang walla walla bing bang_' out of their heads.


End file.
